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Vaižgantas Birštonuokimės

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Visai moderninis eiliavimas

Aš senas, bet per smarkus,
Aš jaunas, bet jau kremblys,
Aš nei šioks nei toks būro padaras, nebe
Tuo galu atsidvesiu,
Aš – mokslinuos ir plunksninu
Ir man
Skiedžias smegenys.
Viduriai kieti,
Viduriai skysti.
Ei, tu pūslė vienatinė
Ir didžiam ir mažam tujen reikalinga,
O pelerižuojasi
Skauda nykštį, tą, patį galinį
Gniaužo raumenis gramatika
Hemoroido – aukso gyslelė
Hemoroidas – invijas vaikščioja.
Akys žlibos –
Nei mergos nebemato.
Ausys kurčios –
Vien „šia” begirdi, o „duok” niekados.
Deformis kūnas, ne geresnė ir siela.
Per metus žmogaus makštis susiskirsto visomis
Sudedamomis savo dalimis. Sukežėtų subyrėtų
Ir siela, tik dažnam jos visai nebelieka.
Čiaudulys, kosulys, verulys
Ir daug daug visokių… lių… lių…. lių…
Vieną dalį padalangink
Antrą paaidink
Trečią pasvalink
Ketvirtą palatvink.
Kemėriuok, Pasteriuok.
Rudenį visų narių surink,
Atgal sukrauk, –
Ir tu vėl – Šaustas
Tai pirma vasarinės mano poezijos dalis.
O antra, štai, kokia.
Vyrai, moterys!
Senieji ir jaunieji
Sveikieji, kurie norite susirgti, paliegėliai –
Atsigauti, bloznai surimtėti, idiotai
Pagudrėti, –
Visiems visiems visiems –
Tik birštonuotis, birštonuotis.
Jei tau kieta – gerk Vytauto
Jei tau skysta – gerk jo pat.
Pūslę valo, inkstus skalauja, – vis jis
Vis jis, vis jis.
Nervus taiso, ūpą gerina – Birutė.
Mėgink
Viskas pridera nuo intencijos.
O žemė ar kitaip daro?
Ak, tu žeme!
Tu, rodos, vienodai pilka,
O čia pat daigini –
Žemuogę ir durnaropę.
Čia pat vieną nudažai raudonai,
Kitą žaliai, kitą geltonai.
Be galo patriotiškai lietuviškai.
Reikia tik intencijos,
Ko tu nori,
Ir gausi.
Birštonuokimės, Birštonuokimės,
Kolei jauni esame,
Nebebus laiko birštonuotis,
Kai visas kišenes iškratys kiti.
Dabar trečia dalis – priemonės.
1, kurtinaitinimo masažai-
Aptiekina gudęs ansotojas.
2, Specialistas okulistas –
Venckūnina akinius
Natūralius, paniekęs dirbtinius
Pasibrundzinimas, tik ką nuvažiavę
Tuojau gausite įsitikinti, jog tau
3, 1,5o temačys, o 31o jau pakenks
4, Purvai, purvu, purvais, purvuose
Apsipurvink, Vytautas nuplaus,
Birutė atgaivins.

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